Starbucks Hai Boss!

                                Picture courtesy: Business Today Mobile

I grew up in the suburbs. Mumbai was fairly far away at the time and dad would take me along when he went for his work sometimes. He would take me to Mani’s at Matunga for lunch, where I would enjoy dosa’s and medu vada’s with unlimited sambar. It was a good time spent, him telling me stories about how he enjoyed his time at Mani’s with his friends, how he scored that half-century on the cricket ground across the street and how he took the winning catch! It was all fun and Mumbai seemed cool. A place where my dad had his memories tied, a place which served as a gateway for us to take the train to visit my uncle, a place where we bought the sweets and fire-crackers for Diwali.

McDonalds had already made its way to India when I was still a kid, but we didn’t see one around where I lived. Let alone coming across one, I had not even heard of it till a couple of years since inception in Indian market. Well, most middle-class Indian’s from my generation would relate surely, that we always had this one rich/ elite family in our circle with great cars, a huge house and the ability to make you feel shitty. I got that “You haven’t been to McDonald’s yet?” when I was a kid. They would boast about having been at McDonalds and Crossroads Mall (where you couldn’t enter if you didn’t have a debit/ credit card). Slowly then, I started coming across more people like these, only to notice that there were quite a lot. 

Chinese food, Mall culture, McDonalds, Hookah parlors, brands like Levis and Spykar (don’t even know why it was/ is so popular), most sedans, expressways, PC’s, coffee shops like Café Coffee Day and Barista - all entered the Indian lifestyle way too steeply. There was no time for a common suburban kid to get exposed to all this stuff. Then slowly, things got common. The biggest McDonald’s opened in Kalamboli, where the expressway to Pune would begin. It was like an Oasis for the Mumbaikar’s to wait in a small town where their kids could feel comfortable in the ‘playplace’. As if no one ever loved eating at Shree Datta snacks. The ‘harbor line’ trains were in full service by now and a teenager could easily escape to Vashi, which was like being in Vegas. Malls, lights, chicks, wide roads, sweet cars and customized bikes – they were all there.  The kids were now at least getting their share of urban life. I was that one of them.

I then went on for higher education, the whole fallacy of fancy spaces with neon lights was overruled by Architecture School and I got over these attractions pretty quick. I was now a part of the urban domain. Only to realize that it wasn’t me. We all went through a social phenomenon of accepting these new things which suddenly came in and just stayed. It wasn’t me growing; the society had absorbed all this. It was now common to order a sweet corn soup and a hot ’n sour soup and spring rolls followed by uttapa, pav bhaji and biryani in the same meal.

Till recently, I thought it was just a phase and we had absorbed the things around the world in a very short time. There was nothing to boast about, there was nothing to be hysterically amazed by. Not in Mumbai at least. You might have experienced how poor kids in remote areas get excited when they see you with a digital SLR or for instance they see a white guy (‘foreigner’- the most worshiped deity in rural India). We in Mumbai don’t.

Then suddenly one day, Starbucks comes in, and that same stupid people rise. These are mostly the ones who have been to a place where they have Starbucks, or have someone who got them the Starbucks coffee beans, or who just want to establish the fact that they are elite. I saw a video where people were interviewed and shamelessly confessed (rather boasted) that they had been in Que for past couple of hours to get a freaking coffee! When asked why, the only answer was, ‘Starbucks hai boss! Worth the wait!’ Paying 200 INR for the coffee is not the issue. I remember paying 75 at Barista, so that I could spend time with my girlfriend without having some anna waiter slamming the check before being asked for. But crowding a coffee shop because it’s a Starbucks ‘from America!’ is plain bullshit.  

It only shows that the phase is not gone. For generations to come, we probably won’t get over the western attraction syndrome, and that our society is yet not ready to react to globalization. Mumbaikar’s crowding the Starbucks are just like the poor kids from remote villages who have never seen a camera before. The excitement of getting the coffee from Starbucks is like the kid watching his face on the LCD screen of the camera. It’s in there, it’s going on the web, people are going to watch it, but the kid is just becoming a subject in the process. He won’t get a print and he can’t keep the digital copy either. He can only boast to the other kids that he saw himself on the screen of the camera, that he met someone who had had a coffee at Starbucks! Get over it people, you are better than this!

                                Picture courtesy: Business Today Mobile

Note: This post is meant to hurt the feelings of only the participating individuals. I'm not making/ trying to make a general statement/ view on Indian society or Mumbaikars for that matter. I love Mumbai and Mumbaikars. 

Young Indian Architect’s Paradox

Very often, I hear fellow Architects complain about people abusing 'free ideas' from young Architects and passing them on to contractors. The client’s just misuse the preliminary design services and do their own thing. What we fail to see is the duality to the issue. Problem starts with the over ambitious designers out of/ still in school way too eager to get something they designed built. They can’t go to bed peacefully after 4th year in Architecture school if they don’t have some ‘project’ at hand. If one expects professional treatment, one should act professional. There is no difference between a Kashmiri Shawl or Calcutta Sari wala walking around Mumbai suburbs selling stuff every November and a young eager Architect (are they even allowed using the title yet?) wanting someone he/ his Dad knows to buy/ accept his design and build it. Paise nako kaka! 

I don’t have a legit source to confirm, say a survey or something, but I bet that the most unprofessional interior and single family home projects are completed in Navi Mumbai (not under-estimating rest of the country). Ironically, they are designed and executed by so-called Architects/ Interior designers. There are also other breeds called ‘interior decorators’ and ‘interior Architects’. Every one of us wants our own office, wants to be our own boss and execute our own ideas. What we fail to understand is that Architectural services come along with a lot of responsibilities. You are not a web-designer designing a website for a restaurant so people can order online and make reservations. You are the restaurant. And you can’t experiment for your pleasures at the cost of someone’s business/ dwelling. What young designers are doing right now with fascinated clients loving birch finishes and yellow lights over designer glass bowl sinks is clear prostitution of the profession. And prostitutes are always bargained with. And they always complain about what they are paid. And when they finally get a job with a desk and a 24-inch screen, their boss knows what they are. He did the same. He treats them the same way and they quit making the ‘my office’ feeling stronger. And eventually every young Architect complains. We have already gone too far and there is no one day solution to this problem. Nor do I claim that I can come up with one. But I sure see a problem.

The ‘Young Indian Architect’s Paradox’ is that they think they can maintain their dignity by ‘not’ working for another Architect who is always a retard and working for a client who appreciates every stupid/ intelligent idea put in front of him. Fun begins when the client doesn't pay this young designer, presses his own ideas, directly communicates with the contractor and slowly pushes him out of the whole process. Confused, the young designer claims that the client used his ideas and got it built in a shoddy way. “I stopped working for that client; he was getting on my nerves.” The truth is, buddy, you were never qualified enough to build it for him. Not as a professional at least. And even if you had been involved throughout the process, chances are that the end result would not differ much.

Problems lie on multiple levels. For instance let’s compare the amount of time required after graduating from Architecture school to get a license so as to legally use the title ‘Architect’ and practice as one, in the order of country, governing body and duration are as follows–

USA, NCARB, 5-7 years

London, RIBA, 3-5 years

Most of Europe, Differs, 2-3 years

India, Council of Architecture, Right away!

NCARB, the regulating body for Architecture licensure in the US is often criticized for the amount of time needed to get licensed. Moreover, you need to apply separately for each of the 50 states, if you are seeking projects in different states. So NCARB is a central body, but not really. Think about those 5 years you work as an intern after getting your Master’s degree, so that you can use the title and ask for that additional 10k, of course with all the legal liabilities. No wonder why an American Architect gets furious if you put the work ‘Architect’ on your resume at the age of 22! Following are the titles people can freely use if they are registered in other parts of the world and seeking work in the US:

Eurotect - European architects

Toyotect - Japanese Architects

Taichitect - Chinese Architects

Pacmantect - Philippine Architects

Currytect - India Architects

Tacotect - Mexican Architects

Pizzatect - Italian Architects

Asstect - Puerto Rican female Architects 

Bulltect - Spanish Architects

Kimchitect - Korean Architects

Beertect - German Architects

HopTect - Australian Architects

Finetect - Singapore Architects 

Photect - Vietnamese Architects

Shawarmatect - Middle east Architects

Halaltect - Israeli Architects

Mapletect - Canadian architects

Kisstect - French Architects

Champtect - Irish Architects

(Credits: someone with pseudo username on some Architecture forum)

I am not against having a plain and simple registration process which takes less than a couple of years to use the title. I hate NCARB equally. The argument I am trying to make is that you can’t expect the society to treat you as a ‘Starchitect’ just because you paid tuition for 5 years (one more than those stupid engineers!). After all, didn’t you think that most of your professors, now fellow Architects were retards and never deserved to be Architects? Respect can’t be demanded. I think there is a dire need for young professionals to put in more time and effort before diving head first. Choose who you want to work for. At least complete a full project at an office. Stick around for a bit. Don’t get lured by your aunt offering you the first project and at the same time pushing you to get married. Travel. Even the best authors take time to write a good book. What you are building right now is equivalent to ‘50 shades of gray’ in literature. Sorry, does it even qualify to be part of contemporary literature? Or is that what it is coming to? Do you hate that book? Well, look back at yourself. After all, it is up to you. Be patient. Don’t turn into someone you have hated for this long.

Young Architects/ students fail to understand that without having a legitimate practice, a signed contract, a real project, a good set of drawings and some kind of experience of getting shit done, no client is going to pay and the projects won’t be a success. The suburbs are developing very fast. They need your services. But don't let them buy you out for cheap. It won't be beneficial for either of the parties. Don't whore the profession. The Tikli Architecture/ Interior Design services are not raising the standard of living. Take some time fellas, Architects don't have to retire till they die. You have a lot of time! Get out of this mental burden of building something to prove yourself to the society as an Architect. You need white streaks in your hair for people to take you seriously as an Architect, and for you to find a worthy and legitimate client.